Ahhh, change. If only he would change this or she would change that, then your whole relationship could be a happy one, or so many people seem to think. One of the biggest problems in a relationship is the idea that all will be well if just one or two things can be changed. What should you do if he promised to change if you will get back together, though? Should you do it?
Well, as with most things there is no one right answer, it usually depends on each person in the relationship and how much they are willing to do to improve things. But, in most cases, this is not the best type of situation.
You see, until they really hit the bottom few people are willing to do what it takes to make things work. It is very easy to spot flaws in your partner, thatэs the easy part, isnэt it? We all love to point out the flaws our partners have.
But, it is a lot tougher to see and admit to our own shortcomings, let alone make changes to those shortcomings. I’m pretty sure we all know this from our own experience, don’t we?
For that reason, it’s just not that likely that you should get back together with him on the idea that he promised to change if you will get back together. He may really mean it but in most cases he won’t follow through.
He may know that and be trying to manipulate you, or he may have convinced himself that he will changes but in reality not have the strength of character to do what needs to be done.
For both of those reasons you should , in my opinion, not take him back until he has made changes. Why let him come back under the false promises, when you are actually in a place of power to help him become the man he wants to become?
Assume, for a minute, that he really does want to change and become a better man, maybe he just needs the right incentive. Don’t think of this is a blackmail, and don’t make it one, instead (if you even love him and want him back) why not use this as an opportunity for him to see that he does need to make changes before you will let him come back?
By making him make changes first, rather than letting him come back first than making changes, you are giving him real incentive.
Look at it this way: if he really wants to make changes you are helping him out by giving him an incentive rather than just taking him back, and if he really has no plan on changing and is only telling you what you want to hear so you take him back you are saving yourself a lot of pain.
It’s ultimately up to you, but many people will say pretty much anything to get their own way. Unless you enjoy going over the same ground over and over again and never getting anywhere, using this time as a way to help him become the man you want may be the best you’ll ever get.
If he promised to change if you will get back together, should you? No, I don’t think so but only you can make that decision.