Do you find the prospect of forgiving your ex’s infidelity about as likely as hell freezing over?
Indeed, the harsh reality is forgiving someone who has hurt you (especially if you cared deeply for this person) is as difficult a prospect as the thought of cutting off one of your own limbs.
What is even more daunting is the realization that you must decide to forgive if you want to take back your power – and your life.
Please understand, I realize how difficult it can be to hear this. Personally, I used to be an Olympic gold medal contender when it came to nursing grudges.
Holding on to grudges takes an emotional toll. You think about your ex’s affair again and again. Left unchecked your resentment will water seeds of hatred, anger and mistrust in your soul.
You run the risk of alienating those closest to you, while also jeopardizing any chance of future happiness in new relationships.
Forgiveness is the only way to free yourself from the pain and take back full control of your life. However it’s important to remember, forgiving your ex does not mean you condone what they did to you.
Actually, it’s not about your ex at all. Forgiveness is deciding you will no longer allow what happened in the past to control your life.
It’s also vital to bear in mind that forgiveness is a process. The first step in the process is deciding to let go of the hurt from the past. The following are steps to help you begin the journey of forgiveness to healing:
Pinpoint exactly what your feelings are, and acknowledge them.
Talk to close family members or friends about you feelings. Also, many find it helpful to write them down.
Make the decision to let go of the pain and your anger with it.
If appropriate, confront your ex and let them know specifically how their betrayal made you feel. It helps to be heard.
Listen to your partner and try to understand their perspective. You do not have to agree with it, but you do need to hear it.
Let your partner know you forgive them. If there was anything you did to contribute to the problem, ask for forgiveness.
Accept the reality that your partner may not seek or accept your forgiveness. That’s okay, again this is about YOU letting go and moving on.
Please bear in mind that you do not have to confront your ex if this is not possible for whatever reason. The key is to identify your feelings, acknowledge them, and let them go. Often that is all that is required to put you on the road to healing.
Do you think women are more prone to forgive infidelity than men? Please share your feelings with the community by commenting below! Thanks.