Dating in college is all about trust, and let’s face it: some people just aren’t ready to commit. After all that second-guessing and those «Signs of Cheating» articles, your worst fears have been confirmed.
Now you’ve got a history test in the morning but all you can study is what you did wrong. All your friends have their input, but no one’s helping and you just want to make it through the week without dropping out of your classes.
First of all, your friends are right.
She is clearly just a skank and yes, he is a player and a coward. Anyone who cheats in a relationship lacks the maturity and responsibility to deal with their own issues and it will catch up with them. So, stop scheming your revenge and get back in the library. Keep in mind, your friends aren’t just telling you these things because they are true; they are telling you because they care about you. If care is what you feel like you’re missing, don’t push away the ones trying for you.
If you are capable of putting down that pint of ice cream and rolling out of bed for your next class, you may find it’s as miserable as you imagined. You already know at this point that all the energy you were spending on your relationship was making school more of a chore than an opportunity.
Stop worrying about whose bed your ex is lying in and place that focus back into your classes, terrible as it sounds. Keep yourself busy, study, and remember that it’s about your future now more than ever. Your grades will thank you.
Honing in on classwork does not mean that you get to skip the dreaded grieving process.
What happened to you was hurtful, so don’t be afraid to feel hurt. It doesn’t matter how the relationship ends, it still requires mourning. Let yourself go through the five necessary stages loss and be patient with it.
If you wake up to find you left ten drunken messages on their voicemail the night before, don’t beat yourself up. It doesn’t matter what they think anymore, so just be patient with yourself because this isn’t going to kill you. This stage is all about taking care of you and you only.
Sometimes it isn’t you leaving the infamous drunk mail. Sometimes, it is the cheater. If you get one of these gems, there are a few things to consider. If you are convinced you are now speaking to the new and improved cheater, go ahead gamble with your emotions. If you are a little less blind to the BS, pat yourself on the back.
Yesterday you were dealing with a cheater. Today, you’re dealing with a desperate, groveling cheater. Sound attractive? Maybe this is just what you needed to move on. And if you don’t get a call or apology, don’t worry about it. This is just another bullet point on the long list of why you don’t want to be with them anymore.