Why Men Don’t Smile – Strange Flirting Signals When Meeting for the First Time


Flirting signals received from men represent a very interesting issue for women. Because men often send out absolutely obscure and unclear signals. On one hand there is that coy glancing at her and looking immediately away when “caught” (see also: Men’s flirting signals). On the other hand, there is that passivity usually shown by men: she has already sent him about a thousand signals, and the result? He does absolutely nothing in return, not even a simple smile. And actually he is very interested. Unbelievable, isn’t it?

What’s going on here?

In first place, the real problem is that he fears a rebuff, and this fear represents a much bigger issue for men than for women. Women are used to being introduced to many men and having to choose among them, so there is less chance of introducing themselves to a man and being rebuffed. For this reason, the fear of rejection is much higher among men, causing them not to dare to approach a woman or to take the next step.

Therefore they send no further signals, and especially those “modern” men who have been taught all their lives to be passive and nice, have huge problems in sending women the right signals.

A simple smile is already quite a strong signal, representing a huge step for a man. In second place, men think that they should not be nice and friendly when trying to attract women, because after all, women are supposed to want only cool characters, and these don’t smile.

How should signals coming from the behaviour of such men be read then?

As a woman, you have to pay a lot of attention: has he glanced at me again? Is he staying close to me or in my field of vision? Do his friends look at me now and again? These are already really good signs of his interest. A woman in whom a man has no interest at all is completely invisible to him, so he won’t even take another glance at her. Almost everything else can be considered by you, as a woman, as a sign of interest.

And now comes the question of whether you should continue sending out flirting signals to a man who stays passive, who doesn’t even recognize the signals, but who is clearly showing interest in you as a woman? This is not so easy to answer, because on one side, a woman wants to get a “real” man but on the other, we live in a society that has managed to drive masculinity out of most men (i.e. things such as initiative, courage, aggressiveness) and now we must live with the consequences, that is, with shy, passive men who are really nice and friendly, but just too shy to approach a woman.

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